Monday, May 21, 2007


I am about to die! I think I am really about to die!

How can it be? Why is it always me?

Let me tell you what happened today ... on that bloody Monday. For sure it was a Monday as only such things can happen on mondays.

Everything was fine in the early morning hours. Gregory and I enjoyed breakfast and had some cuddling before we went to work.

Work was fairly normal for a Monday morning ... no disasters, no too weird patients during clinic duty ...and this perhaps should have warned me though.

I had no time today to sneak in the Internet - except for the early morning hours when I uploaded the poems I've written. As you can see I was high above the clouds today and this feeling lasted until ...well until I was kicked out of heaven and thrown into the mud.

My day consisted of appointments and clinic duty and so I was very surprised when I managed to finish clinic duty a bit earlier than usual to spend the last hour of work with Gregory ... but he on the other hand was already gone.

At first no one did know where he was and it took me a while to find out that he did not hide at his usual places but was already gone at home. According to Cuddy ... apparently sick!
"He really looked like shit, Wilson!" Cuddy said to me and gave me a questioning look.
"Are you sure?" I murmured and frowned.
"I am pretty sure, Wilson. He could not have played that ... I really don't think that he is such a good actor!"

"Okay" I thought nodded at her and made my way back to the office.
My thoughts circled around the day and what could have happened.
"Perhaps a migraine attack ... or something was rotten in the cafeteria." I muttered to myself when I finally reached my office.

First thing I did was grabbing the handset and dialing our number ...

... ... ...

No response though.

"Probably sleeping" I thought and dialed his cell phone number right after.
No reply either ... also not on my beeper message.

I decided to try it a bit later again as he really could have been sleeping or just not hearing the calls.

No way I thought of that what really happened ...

Some minutes later I tried to open my email account ... and I failed.
Next try ended in the very same result ...

Access denied! You have entered the wrong password!

Heck! I do have that password since more than 5 years ... no way I could have entered the wrong password.

I tried it anew ... and after three wrong entries ... I got the message to contact the administrator.

Administrator ... ha!
"Fine, fine" I sighed and dialed the number of the computer department in the hospital.
About 15 minutes later a young man was standing in the door frame.
"Dr. Wilson? I heard you have a problem?" he greeted me.
"Yes, I do have" I answered and explained to him what happened.

Another fast typings, clicks, swearing and about 20 minutes later, he leaned back in my chair, looked at me and said.
"Well, you had a hacker. It seems that someone just broke into your account."
"I beg you pardon?" I asked him with my jaws dropped.
One more click and we could see what was done ...

Oh yes ... I did see what was done - and my face color changed from normal to crimson and ghost white.
"Oh my holy godness!" I muttered and let me sink on the visitor's chair.
The young man looked at me and now he did grin slightly.
"Oh well... it was not you, right?"
"Of course it was NOT me!" I spat out.
"Heck! I am married and that ... Oh my GOD!"

A second later I thought someone just stabbed me with a knife right in my heart when he asked me, "Gregory House is who?"
"My husband, why?" I moaned and looked at him.
"Okaaaay... " he said and stood up.
"You should better try to reach him, it looks like that anonymous guy who broke into your account and apparently used your messanger for that ... little thing there ... did send that email to him."

My heart did stop beating and I was unable to answer or even to move when the computer guy patted my shoulder and went out of the room.

I must have sat there for more than half an hour or so...
Unable to move, unable to think and unable to do anything ...

My numbness vanished slowly and next thing I did was packing my things and rushing out of the hospital.

I am at home now ... he is gone ...

Some clothes are missing and there is no sign of him.

I am feeling so cold inside - so lonely and lost ... and my heart feels like being torn into pieces.

I didnt do nothing at all - and this is just the truth ...

This is how it must feel like when you are dying slowly and painfully.

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