Monday, September 24, 2007

Song of the Open Road

Dear readers,

I just have to share this astonishing work of poetry with you ... I just have to share it now.
Those of you not knowing it - those of you already knowing it - sit down, relax and read ... later if you want - sigh and think!

Walt Whitman (1819–1892). Leaves of Grass. 1900

AFOOT and light-hearted, I take to the open road,
Healthy, free, the world before me,
The long brown path before me, leading wherever I choose.

Henceforth I ask not good-fortune—I myself am good fortune;
Henceforth I whimper no more, postpone no more, need nothing,
Strong and content, I travel the open road.

The earth—that is sufficient;
I do not want the constellations any nearer;
I know they are very well where they are;
I know they suffice for those who belong to them.

(Still here I carry my old delicious burdens;
I carry them, men and women—I carry them with me wherever I go;
I swear it is impossible for me to get rid of them;
I am fill’d with them, and I will fill them in return.)

You road I enter upon and look around! I believe you are not all that is here;
I believe that much unseen is also here.

Here the profound lesson of reception, neither preference or denial;
The black with his woolly head, the felon, the diseas’d, the illiterate person, are not denied;
The birth, the hasting after the physician, the beggar’s tramp, the drunkard’s stagger, the laughing party of mechanics,
The escaped youth, the rich person’s carriage, the fop, the eloping couple,
The early market-man, the hearse, the moving of furniture into the town, the return back from the town,
They pass—I also pass—anything passes—none can be interdicted;
None but are accepted—none but are dear to me.

You air that serves me with breath to speak!
You objects that call from diffusion my meanings, and give them shape!
You light that wraps me and all things in delicate equable showers!
You paths worn in the irregular hollows by the roadsides!
I think you are latent with unseen existences—you are so dear to me.

You flagg’d walks of the cities! you strong curbs at the edges!
You ferries! you planks and posts of wharves! you timber-lined sides! you distant ships!
You rows of houses! you window-pierc’d façades! you roofs!
You porches and entrances! you copings and iron guards!
You windows whose transparent shells might expose so much!
You doors and ascending steps! you arches!
You gray stones of interminable pavements! you trodden crossings!
From all that has been near you, I believe you have imparted to yourselves, and now would impart the same secretly to me;
From the living and the dead I think you have peopled your impassive surfaces, and the spirits thereof would be evident and amicable with me.

The earth expanding right hand and left hand,
The picture alive, every part in its best light,
The music falling in where it is wanted, and stopping where it is not wanted,
The cheerful voice of the public road—the gay fresh sentiment of the road.

O highway I travel! O public road! do you say to me, Do not leave me?
Do you say, Venture not? If you leave me, you are lost?
Do you say, I am already prepared—I am well-beaten and undenied—adhere to me?

O public road! I say back, I am not afraid to leave you—yet I love you;
You express me better than I can express myself;
You shall be more to me than my poem.

I think heroic deeds were all conceiv’d in the open air, and all great poems also;
I think I could stop here myself, and do miracles;
(My judgments, thoughts, I henceforth try by the open air, the road;)
I think whatever I shall meet on the road I shall like, and whoever beholds me shall like me;
I think whoever I see must be happy.

From this hour, freedom!
From this hour I ordain myself loos’d of limits and imaginary lines,
Going where I list, my own master, total and absolute,
Listening to others, and considering well what they say,
Pausing, searching, receiving, contemplating,
Gently, but with undeniable will, divesting myself of the holds that would hold me.

I inhale great draughts of space;
The east and the west are mine, and the north and the south are mine.

I am larger, better than I thought;
I did not know I held so much goodness.

All seems beautiful to me;
I can repeat over to men and women, You have done such good to me, I would do the same to you.

I will recruit for myself and you as I go;
I will scatter myself among men and women as I go;
I will toss the new gladness and roughness among them;
Whoever denies me, it shall not trouble me;
Whoever accepts me, he or she shall be blessed, and shall bless me.

Now if a thousand perfect men were to appear, it would not amaze me;
Now if a thousand beautiful forms of women appear’d, it would not astonish me.

Now I see the secret of the making of the best persons,
It is to grow in the open air, and to eat and sleep with the earth.

Here a great personal deed has room;
A great deed seizes upon the hearts of the whole race of men,
Its effusion of strength and will overwhelms law, and mocks all authority and all argument against it.

Here is the test of wisdom;
Wisdom is not finally tested in schools;
Wisdom cannot be pass’d from one having it, to another not having it;
Wisdom is of the Soul, is not susceptible of proof, is its own proof,
Applies to all stages and objects and qualities, and is content,
Is the certainty of the reality and immortality of things, and the excellence of things;
Something there is in the float of the sight of things that provokes it out of the Soul.

Now I reëxamine philosophies and religions,
They may prove well in lecture-rooms, yet not prove at all under the spacious clouds, and along the landscape and flowing currents.

Here is realization;
Here is a man tallied—he realizes here what he has in him;
The past, the future, majesty, love—if they are vacant of you, you are vacant of them.

Only the kernel of every object nourishes;
Where is he who tears off the husks for you and me?
Where is he that undoes stratagems and envelopes for you and me?

Here is adhesiveness—it is not previously fashion’d—it is apropos;
Do you know what it is, as you pass, to be loved by strangers?
Do you know the talk of those turning eye-balls?

Here is the efflux of the Soul;
The efflux of the Soul comes from within, through embower’d gates, ever provoking questions:
These yearnings, why are they? These thoughts in the darkness, why are they?
Why are there men and women that while they are nigh me, the sun-light expands my blood?
Why, when they leave me, do my pennants of joy sink flat and lank?
Why are there trees I never walk under, but large and melodious thoughts descend upon me?
(I think they hang there winter and summer on those trees, and always drop fruit as I pass;)
What is it I interchange so suddenly with strangers?
What with some driver, as I ride on the seat by his side?
What with some fisherman, drawing his seine by the shore, as I walk by, and pause?
What gives me to be free to a woman’s or man’s good-will? What gives them to be free to mine?

The efflux of the Soul is happiness—here is happiness;
I think it pervades the open air, waiting at all times;
Now it flows unto us—we are rightly charged.

Here rises the fluid and attaching character;
The fluid and attaching character is the freshness and sweetness of man and woman;

(The herbs of the morning sprout no fresher and sweeter every day out of the roots of themselves, than it sprouts fresh and sweet continually out of itself.)

Toward the fluid and attaching character exudes the sweat of the love of young and old;
From it falls distill’d the charm that mocks beauty and attainments;
Toward it heaves the shuddering longing ache of contact.

Allons! whoever you are, come travel with me!
Traveling with me, you find what never tires.

The earth never tires;
The earth is rude, silent, incomprehensible at first—Nature is rude and incomprehensible at first;
Be not discouraged—keep on—there are divine things, well envelop’d;
I swear to you there are divine things more beautiful than words can tell.

Allons! we must not stop here!
However sweet these laid-up stores—however convenient this dwelling, we cannot remain here;
However shelter’d this port, and however calm these waters, we must not anchor here;
However welcome the hospitality that surrounds us, we are permitted to receive it but a little while.

Allons! the inducements shall be greater;
We will sail pathless and wild seas;
We will go where winds blow, waves dash, and the Yankee clipper speeds by under full sail.

Allons! with power, liberty, the earth, the elements!
Health, defiance, gayety, self-esteem, curiosity;
Allons! from all formules!
From your formules, O bat-eyed and materialistic priests!

The stale cadaver blocks up the passage—the burial waits no longer.

Allons! yet take warning!
He traveling with me needs the best blood, thews, endurance;
None may come to the trial, till he or she bring courage and health.

Come not here if you have already spent the best of yourself;
Only those may come, who come in sweet and determin’d bodies;
No diseas’d person—no rum-drinker or venereal taint is permitted here.

I and mine do not convince by arguments, similes, rhymes;
We convince by our presence.

Listen! I will be honest with you;
I do not offer the old smooth prizes, but offer rough new prizes;
These are the days that must happen to you:

You shall not heap up what is call’d riches,
You shall scatter with lavish hand all that you earn or achieve,
You but arrive at the city to which you were destin’d—you hardly settle yourself to satisfaction, before you are call’d by an irresistible call to depart,
You shall be treated to the ironical smiles and mockings of those who remain behind you;
What beckonings of love you receive, you shall only answer with passionate kisses of parting,
You shall not allow the hold of those who spread their reach’d hands toward you.

Allons! after the GREAT COMPANIONS! and to belong to them!
They too are on the road! they are the swift and majestic men; they are the greatest women.
Over that which hinder’d them—over that which retarded—passing impediments large or small,
Committers of crimes, committers of many beautiful virtues,
Enjoyers of calms of seas, and storms of seas,
Sailors of many a ship, walkers of many a mile of land,
Habitués of many distant countries, habitués of far-distant dwellings,
Trusters of men and women, observers of cities, solitary toilers,
Pausers and contemplators of tufts, blossoms, shells of the shore,
Dancers at wedding-dances, kissers of brides, tender helpers of children, bearers of children,
Soldiers of revolts, standers by gaping graves, lowerers down of coffins,
Journeyers over consecutive seasons, over the years—the curious years, each emerging from that which preceded it,
Journeyers as with companions, namely, their own diverse phases,
Forth-steppers from the latent unrealized baby-days,
Journeyers gayly with their own youth—Journeyers with their bearded and well-grain’d manhood,
Journeyers with their womanhood, ample, unsurpass’d, content,
Journeyers with their own sublime old age of manhood or womanhood,
Old age, calm, expanded, broad with the haughty breadth of the universe,
Old age, flowing free with the delicious near-by freedom of death.

Allons! to that which is endless, as it was beginningless,
To undergo much, tramps of days, rests of nights,
To merge all in the travel they tend to, and the days and nights they tend to,
Again to merge them in the start of superior journeys;
To see nothing anywhere but what you may reach it and pass it,
To conceive no time, however distant, but what you may reach it and pass it,
To look up or down no road but it stretches and waits for you—however long, but it stretches and waits for you;
To see no being, not God’s or any, but you also go thither,
To see no possession but you may possess it—enjoying all without labor or purchase—abstracting the feast, yet not abstracting one particle of it;
To take the best of the farmer’s farm and the rich man’s elegant villa, and the chaste blessings of the well-married couple, and the fruits of orchards and flowers of gardens,
To take to your use out of the compact cities as you pass through,
To carry buildings and streets with you afterward wherever you go, 180
To gather the minds of men out of their brains as you encounter them—to gather the love out of their hearts,
To take your lovers on the road with you, for all that you leave them behind you,
To know the universe itself as a road—as many roads—as roads for traveling souls.

The Soul travels;
The body does not travel as much as the soul;
The body has just as great a work as the soul, and parts away at last for the journeys of the soul.

All parts away for the progress of souls;
All religion, all solid things, arts, governments,—all that was or is apparent upon this globe or any globe, falls into niches and corners before the procession of Souls along the grand roads of the universe.

Of the progress of the souls of men and women along the grand roads of the universe, all other progress is the needed emblem and sustenance.

Forever alive, forever forward,
Stately, solemn, sad, withdrawn, baffled, mad, turbulent, feeble, dissatisfied,
Desperate, proud, fond, sick, accepted by men, rejected by men,
They go! they go! I know that they go, but I know not where they go;
But I know that they go toward the best—toward something great.

Allons! whoever you are! come forth!
You must not stay sleeping and dallying there in the house, though you built it, or though it has been built for you.

Allons! out of the dark confinement!
It is useless to protest—I know all, and expose it.

Behold, through you as bad as the rest,
Through the laughter, dancing, dining, supping, of people,
Inside of dresses and ornaments, inside of those wash’d and trimm’d faces,
Behold a secret silent loathing and despair.

No husband, no wife, no friend, trusted to hear the confession;
Another self, a duplicate of every one, skulking and hiding it goes,
Formless and wordless through the streets of the cities, polite and bland in the parlors,
In the cars of rail-roads, in steamboats, in the public assembly,
Home to the houses of men and women, at the table, in the bed-room, everywhere,
Smartly attired, countenance smiling, form upright, death under the breast-bones, hell under the skull-bones,
Under the broadcloth and gloves, under the ribbons and artificial flowers,
Keeping fair with the customs, speaking not a syllable of itself,
Speaking of anything else, but never of itself.

Allons! through struggles and wars!
The goal that was named cannot be countermanded.

Have the past struggles succeeded?
What has succeeded? yourself? your nation? nature?
Now understand me well—It is provided in the essence of things, that from any fruition of success, no matter what, shall come forth something to make a greater struggle necessary.

My call is the call of battle—I nourish active rebellion;
He going with me must go well arm’d;
He going with me goes often with spare diet, poverty, angry enemies, desertions.

Allons! the road is before us!
It is safe—I have tried it—my own feet have tried it well.

Allons! be not detain’d!
Let the paper remain on the desk unwritten, and the book on the shelf unopen’d!
Let the tools remain in the workshop! let the money remain unearn’d!
Let the school stand! mind not the cry of the teacher!
Let the preacher preach in his pulpit! let the lawyer plead in the court, and the judge expound the law.

Mon enfant! I give you my hand!
I give you my love, more precious than money,
I give you myself, before preaching or law;
Will you give me yourself? will you come travel with me?
Shall we stick by each other as long as we live?

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Late evening working hours ...

The following picture shows you how some of us might look like after a hard working day, too little sleep and ... well - 11 hours of work!

Sorry, my dear for posting that picture here - but I couldn't resist!

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Sweetest smile

(Artist: Black)

I still owe you the story about the new doctor in my department and about how I cut myself with a knife - so ... I will try not to mix things.

Cutting myself really does not fill a whole entry - althought the length of the entries is up to me - hehe.

Fine ... I took a knife, tried to slice something and then I cut myself... story over!

HA! Okay, okay - you probably want to know what I wanted to slice and this and that. Hmm, didn't you sometimes ask yourself when watching a movie why the heck they made it that complicated?!

Lord of the Rings - what an exquisite example for that. THREE parts ... story-filling ... etc. - and at the end, Frodo and Sam lying on a rock surrounded by a lava stream and being picked up by giant eagles.

Why the heck couldn't they have asked the eagles at the very beginning to bring them there - drop that damn ring into the stream and ... THE END
Not that I don't like that movie ... I bow before the persons having realized that enormous project - but - I just cannot avoid asking such things ;)

It would have been soooooooooooooooo easy! However, it is so that we see the best ending or the easier way at the end of the way with obstacles ... perhaps I should see it like that (and not to forget that the movie would have just lasted 30 minutes or so ;) ... for some movies this would be more than great sometimes!

Okay - back to the main story as we were not having a discussing about movies. I have that with Greg so many times.
It was in fact on DVD movie evening when I got my cut ...

Let's start at the beginning.

"Jim? Jimmy? Huuuuunyyyyyy?" It sounded from the kitchen on the Saturday of September, 8th.
I looked up from putting the laundry into the machine and raised one eyebrow.
"What now?" I thought as his voice and the way he called me did imply that

a.) anything happened - I would probably not find too good
b.) anything happened and it was his fault
c.) anything will happen (see a)
d.) anything will happen (see a + b)
e.) he was hungry and want something to eat (see a - d)
f.) he needs new Vicodin (as he is clear at the moment - we can drop that!)

"You address me, right?" I so shouted back into the kitchen.
"I only know one Jim and Hun' being here ..." Greg's voice came from the door.
I turned my head and looked at him.

Fine - at least no blood was to be seen and he did not look that guilty.
"Point here!" I answered and straightened up after I chose the right program.
"So what?" he replied and played with the phone in his hands.
"I ask you that as you did call me like: Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuny"

Greg smirked slightly and nodded.
"Ehm ... right!" He avoided my eyes for a second and looked back at me then (oh oh - he was guilty!)
"You know that ... ehm ... well, we planned to have a cozy weekend - right?" Greg began and put one hand in his jeans pocket.
"Mhm ..."
"Well, ehm ... a friend just called me - and ..."

I frowned and looked a bit surprised.
"A friend? What friend? I ... I mean - you do not have many friends around here, do you? I mean - the one I know is currently leaning against the washing machine." I replied and patted the called one.
Now it was Gregory frowning and snorting at me.
"Funny! I do have friends beside you, Jaaaames!"

"Oh stop pouting!" I replied and approched him.
"Tell me now ... who called you?"
"Chase called me" Greg said silently now and cleared his throat then.

"Chase? You call Chase a friend ... I mean - well ... you work together. You are his boss and to what I know you are not the nicest one" I said with a wink and squeezed me past him to go into the kitchen.
"Haha!" I came back from behind and I heard him following me into the kitchen.

There I stood and stared on the mess he left (he wanted to cook).
"Greg, this is not the truth - tell me that this bomb attack will be removed, right?!!"
From the corner of my eyes I did see him looking around briefly and then looking at me.
"Sure it will be removed!"
"Do not look at me like that ... YOU will clean this mess!" I replied and grabbed me some hot coffee.
"So, why did Chase call and what did he want? I thought they have their free weekend as well?!"

Greg poured himself some coffee as well and we both took seat in the kitchen.
"True! He called me to say that he is unsure if Foreman might be able to come back to work on Monday as he got a flue!"
"Oh ..."
He nodded and sipped his coffee.
"And? That was it? Therefore we had to talk?"
Greg looked over the rim of his coffee cup and our eyes met.

A sigh slipped out of my mouth.
"Sure not. So what could it be ... hmmm, let me guess!"
"Go!" he replied with a grin and leaned back.

"Okay - Foreman is ill ..." I took a sip of my coffee as well and started to think what Greg wanted to do now.
After some seconds I looked back at Greg and grinned.
"Easy? Tell!"

"It is their free weekend, it is Saturday ... they will have rent some movies yesterday and perhaps watched one or two. Means - there are two more to watch. Second: Foreman is ill and Chase called you - means you would want to go there and check if he is really that ill. Third: He probably told you what movies are left to watch and there was one amongst you wanted to see always but I did not want to. Am I right or am I right?"

Gregory looked impressed and smiled a bit.
"Geez, James - that was amazing! You could be a diagnostician, your brain seems to work! Woohoo ..."
A little snort escape and I put the mug down on the table.
"Easy I've said ..."
"Damn ... it was too obvious, hm?"
"Yeah and I know you too good I suppose" I answered and shrugged.

Gregory did still smile and it was his turn now to shrug.
"Sooo?" he asked me with the same melody I did ask him before.
"So what?" I grinned back.
"Sooo - will we go there?"
I looked around and then back at him.
"When you will have cleaned the kitchen - I might allow you to go there."
"Ooooooh ...thanks Mom!" Greg said while clapping his hands with excitement.

He dialed a number and just said, "We will be there at 8 o'clock and I hope there is something else than just tea in the house!"
Gregory did not wait for the reply and just hang up again.
"You are always sooo polite, Greg!" I grinned and stood up to place the mug in the dish washer.

I heard Gregory's chair being pushed back when I bent down to open the door but I did not look up until I felt a prominent bodypart poking me lightly.
"GREG!" I gasped, turned my head, placed the mug inside while looking at him and next thing I said was a loud: "OUCH ... damn FUCK!"

"I did intend that last thing ... right!" Greg said and then grabbed my hand to look at him.
There was long and bit deeper cut at the inside of my right hand and it was bleeding like hell (or what does look like that when you are suprised).
"What have you done?" Greg muttered while trying to stop the bleeding with a towel.
"I? You poked me and I did not look where I placed that fucking mug!"
He looked past me into the dish washer and nodded.
"I see the one who tried to kill you ..."
I turned my head as well and a sharp cutting knife was winking at me and I tell you that it did grin devilishly!
"The monster knife ..." I moaned when Greg pressed a bit too hard.

"Right ... and now - shall I stitch it or do you want to go to the clinic and let it done there?"
I did not think a minute and smiled weakly.
"Clinic please ... I don't want to look like a ragdoll!"
"Fine ..." Greg answered while helping me up. "But I am not Dr. Frankenstein, my stitches look good!"
"I bet they do!" I assured him on the way to the car.

Some minutes later we arrived at the PPTH and another 30 minutes later we were on our way back again.
He really did clean the kitchen and ... much more that afternoon and so we went to visit Chase and Foreman in the evening - accompanied by a "get well" present (my idea) and some weird B-movie (Greg's idea).

The evening was ... hmmm - interesting and perhaps Greg or Foreman will write about that evening.

By the way - I told you at the beginning that I took a knife, tried to slice something and got cut ... so?! Right! Never trust what is being told before you know the whole story ;) ... all the tension would have been non-existent if I really would have told you the truth.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Greg's first day at work

I am going back in time again - not that nothing would happen at the moment but to be up-to-date I just have to explain a few things ... otherwise you would be sitting there and staring on the screen like: flawh?

As I've already told you Gregory started working on the 1st September. He wanted to start the day as usual and so I went to work without him as he now goes for a run every morning.
Greg arrived at the PPTH in his jogging clothes and disturbed me and Cuddy while we were just talking about what new case might be good for Greg to start.

We discussed about the wheelchair guy the hospital just got in and Cuddy mentioned that Greg might love that.

I flipped through a file and answered, "He'll be bored. It's a great visual but it's diagnostically boring. What about post-hair transplant aphasia guy?"
Cuddy briefly looked at me and replied, "Infection throwing clots, House will shoot it down and call you an idiot."

Well ... nobody wants to be called an idiot, or?

Cuddy suggested the "yoga girl" and I thought about just that when Gregory came into the office still wearing his jogging clothes and being a bit out of breath.

Our boss looked at him with an open mouth as she didn't know that he was running now every day.
Eight miles from home to the clinic - good way for his training.
Why I stared at him ... well this had another reason - but perhaps I do like it when his chest goes up and down like it did.

I don't want you to bore with our conversation then ... it was just exchanging "pleasantries" and a bit of chit-chat.
Greg thought all the cases - except the post-hair transplant aphasia guy - were worth to be new cases of the diagnostic department.

I didn't see Greg until the evening when I met him on the balcony of the second floor (although we did talk via phone twice). Gregory was leaning on the balcony overlooking the lobby and watching people walk in and out when I found him.

He looked as if in thoughts and first I thought of not disturbing his thoughts ... but it would not be me if I would have done so - hm ...
We talked about the cases and before I could ask him when we will be leaving and going home, Cameron disturbed us and some seconds later it was me standing on the balcony and watching the people walking in and out.

Greg had to go back to another case before we finally managed to leave the hospital at about 10 p.m.
Due to the late time we decided that cooking was cancelled and so we just bought us some pizza on our way back.

The rest of the evening we did not talk about the job but enjoyed the late nite dinner, the glass of wine, the voice of Amy Winehouse and some cuddling on the sofa and later in bed before we finally did fall asleep at around 1 a.m.

Well ... it was not THAT interesting but I wanted to tell you about Greg's first day at work and now I did it.

I am not sure when I will be able to post again as I have to work the weekend ... yeah, you read right - weekend shift for both of us, Greg is very happy about it!

Thursday, September 13, 2007

A bathing episode

I am currently sitting in front of my computer (oh wonder!) and sipping my early morning coffee.
You might probably have asked yourself why I stopped writing although I did say that I am back again ...
Well - some things happened here and due to those happenings I was a bit more busy than I thought I would be.

Greg started working (on the 1st September) ... a new doctor started working (I will tell later) and I had a little accident with a knife.

One after the other though ...

First let me tell you about Gregory's last night before having to work again - after eight weeks of being home.

We were sitting in our living room and I was listening to Greg singing to Nickelback - "If everyone cared" ... while sipping at some red barrique wine and just enjoying the evening.

The light was dimmed and the sitting room was only illuminated by a few candles ... the music filled the room and I lazily stretched out my legs on the sofa.

Greg looked up from his guitar with sparkling eyes and gave me one of those rarely to be seen "I do love you more than you would guess" looks.
My heart suddenly stopped beating for a second - as it always does when he looks at me like that - and a similar smile must have appeared on my face, as Greg stood up from his chair and approached me.

"You are looking way too good when you lay there like that, Jimmy" he moaned silently and kneeled before the sofa.
"Do I?" I silently moaned back and turned to my side to be able to look him in the eyes.
Our glances met and when you ever loved someone you might know what it feels like when you feel drawn to the other and sink deeper and deeper and deeper 'till you have the feeling your reached the bottom of his soul.

Despite any other meaning - Greg's soul is wonderful ... sensitive and tender - he is my little angel - although sometimes an angel disguised as a grumpy misanthrope.

I am getting lost in telling you how wonderful he can be.

Sooo ... well we were there in the living room, staring into the other eyes and simply getting lost in each other when a sound brought us back to real life. That disgusting and annoying sound was the sound of the phone ringing.

"Let it ring!" Greg muttered and slowly bent forward.
"What if it is an emergency?" I whispered and my look was focused on the soft lips coming closer and closer.
Greg started to fumble at the buttons of my shirt and placed little kisses on the skin revealed.
My eyes closed automatically and offered him the soft flesh of my throat. The ringing sound of the phone stopped in the very moment Gregory's lips touched my skin and a deep moan slipped out of my mouth.

The shiver of anticipation ran over my skin and the feeling of lust and longing filled my mind when his touches became more eagerly and demanding.

"Jim" he whispered hoarsely into my ear and my body reacted to the whisper brushing over my skin like a whiff of wind.
"Hmmmmmm?" I moaned back and shifted on the sofa.

"Shall we go into the bath?" Greg asked with a hushed voice.
I opened my eyes and found me looking in them. The blue blinked back and I could see the longing in the sparkling. The longing that nearly made me rip off his shirt at once ...
I swallowed hard down and just nodded slowly.
"Bath ... yeah..." I heard me answering with a croak.
Before Greg went into the bathroom he gave me a kiss that left me lying on the sofa for a few more minutes and feeling completely dizzy and dragged away.

When I came back to where he left me (and of course where I have officially been) - I looked around and blinked twice. The gurgling sound of the water filling the tube finally managed to wake me up. I sat upright and shook my head.
"Wooohoooo" I murmured and noticed that I was grinning like a Cheshire cat.

A rummaging coming out of the kitchen made me look towards that direction and I did see Greg opening a cupboard.
"Are you searching something particular?" I asked him and stood up.
"No! This shall be a surprise! And please don't go into the bathroom before I ask you to come in!"

"Want me to go outside or may I go into the bedroom and change into my bathrobe?"
"You may do whatever you want, Jim - but - don't come into the bathroom!" Greg shouted over his shoulder.
I shrugged, grabbed the glas of barrique and went on the balcony to watch the starlit sky.

I might have stood there for five minutes just enjoying the night, the atmosphere and the great California wine when I heard Gregory calling me from inside.
The rest of the wine was sipped down before I opened the door to the living room and went inside again.
"Change into your bathrobe before you come in!" Greg's voice came out of the bath.
"Okaaaaaay!" I yelled back and made my way to the kitchen to place the empty glass into the sink before I headed for the bedroom to change as wished.

Two minutes - a changing and a check into the mirror - later, I slowly opened the door to the bathroom.
"May I?" I whispered into the dim lit room.
"Sure" he silently replied and so I stepped in - and stopped two steps later - looking around with wide open eyes.

"Gawd, Greg!" I sighed and checked the room once anew.
The room was only lit by candles - maaaaaaany candles ... no - a bunch of candles! The air was filled with the scent of sandalwood incense sticks and some atmospheric music I really can't remember what it was ... but in that moment it does not matter - and it doesn't matter now - because what did count was the whole ...the complete picture of it that would have melted even the darkest heart of steel.
The light ... the air ... the music ... and the best - Gregory as God has made him ... waiting for me in the bathtub!
"You like it?" he asked me and looked soooo cute I could have just grabbed him and cuddled him to suffocation.
"I do ..." I croaked and then cleared my throat to repeat it with more emphasis.
Gregory smiled broadly and pointed into the water. "Come here, hun' - enough space for two!"

I did not want him to have it repeated twice - so I opened my bathrobe and let it glide over my shoulders while looking him in the eyes.
Greg's pupils widened when I approached him and a short whistle followed a second later.

I could not avoid the grin that wanted to come on my face nor the little move with my hips to tease him a little.
We both grinned broadly and I waggled with my eyebrows.
"I see you did not fill it to the rim!?"
"Mhmmm...!" Greg answered and reached out to grab my waist.
"Guess why?" he said and pulled me closer ...

A second later my head dropped back and I perfectly knew why the tub wasn't filled completely.
Nonetheless we had to clean the floor afterwards ... but that afterwards was quite a while later - not to say ... some hours later!

"Holy moly, Jim!" Greg moaned and rubbed over his face with his head tilted back.
"Uhu" I moaned and stared through the mist up towards the ceiling.
"I think we should leave the water now" he replied with a weak voice.
"Uhm ... yah ... we probably should ... it is cold" I answered with a similar voice but did not move an inch.
My head rolled over my left shoulder 'till I could look at him.
"You first ..." I gestured slowly.
"You ..." Greg moaned and nodded towards the door.

My glance followed his nod and then I looked back at him.
"No" I sighed and let my head drop back again.
"Hmmm... damn ... why not?"
"Easy ... I think if I would try now I might faint or fall to the ground as I am feeling weak like a baby!" I replied with a big sigh.
A twin sigh followed and Greg's answer made me grin slightly.
"See, Jim ... I know exactly what you mean - so ... we should stay here until morn', huh?"

We both thought about that suggestion for a while but obviously didn't find it acceptable as we both tried to stand up simultaneously.
"You first - bunnybum!" Greg gestured me with a brief nod and let himself sink back into the clammy water.
"Okay ... okay" I moaned and carefully stepped out and on the lightly wet floor. "We have to mop up later!"

"Everything what you want, dear - just gimme a few moments to recover, 'kay?" Gregory muttered and looked at me with a "Geez-I-feel-dizzy!" expression.
"Sure!" I said while wrapping me in the warm and cozy bathrobe.

Gregory now stepped out of the tub and I grabbed him firmly when he nearly slipped out on the wet ground.
"Damn!" he growled and pulled me closer. "You are impossible man! What are you doing with me, hm?"
"I ... I ..." and before I could stammer what he did mean - I noticed by the reaction of his body and the kiss he gave me.

Amazing how quick you can be in the bedroom and cuddling underneath the blankets if you just want it!

I must say that this very last evening of being at home was ... hmmm ... inspiring, uplifting, cozy, romantic and full of love! The cleaning we had to do in the late or early morning hours really was worth all of it!

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Ave Maria ...

The world misses a great singer - Luciano Pavarotti died today after suffering many years from cancer ... may he be now where there is no pain, no suffering ...

May the light have guided him through the darkness and may his friends and family always remember him as the person he was.

Luciano Pavarotti was one of the best tenors in the world and to honor his voice - Ave Maria:

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

A saturday evening and a stroll

Life during the last few weeks wasn’t that boring for me as you might have thought it was. As I already told you – I had no computer at home (if we don’t count Greg’s) and therefore the evenings were filled with TV, dinner, talks, laughs and some strolls.
Gregory wanted me to join him for a jog by and then – but as I had to work double clinic hours most of the time and really had a lot to do at work – I felt more or like exhausted when coming home late at night.
So it was no wonder that Gregory often found himself alone until 9 or 10 p.m.
In order to balance out the time we had not – we used the time we had more intensively.
It was last Saturday when Greg looked up from Calvin & Hobbes while I was trying to get familiar with my new notebook.

“Jim …”
“Hm?” I asked him and looked up from the manual.
“How long do you want to brood over that handbook?” Greg asked and took a sip from the coffee I had made a while ago.
“I dunno”, I said with a sigh and put the manual away. “Somehow I don’t have a clue how I can get into the Internet …”
Gregory raised an eyebrow and smiled slightly. “You know that you are way too cute sometimes, hm?”
“Pardon?” I asked him with a smile.
“Do you do that on purpose or don’t you know how to do it?”

“I … … I … … Huh? What do you mean?” I asked him and rubbed my neck.
Greg shook his head and stood up. “What about having a walk and I will later take care of it?” He said while approaching me.

“A walk…?” I said and the rest was mumbled into a purr as Gregory started to fondle and kiss my neckline.
“Mhmmmm … a walk!” Greg muttered into my ear before he started nibbling at it.
My eyes closed automatically and enjoyed the touch of his soft lips upon my skin. The kissing continued a bit and my hands found their way to his hair, while he drew me closer and searched my lips with his mouth.
I felt a shiver running over my body when he touched my lips with his tongue tip. Pleasant anticipation made me moan and shift on my chair.
“Sooooo?” I heard him whispering softly and his fingers were caressing my throat tenderly.
“So what?” I whispered back and had no clue what he did mean.
“So what about the walk now?” Greg replied and the little smile I heard in his voice made me open my eyes finally.

Gregory’ s shining blue eyes were examining me carefully and I could not resist raising an eyebrow and pouting a bit.
“Oh… that walk! I nearly forgot now … Can’t we … … I mean …”
My fingers played their way up to his shaved (!) chin and I gave him a Greg-like puppy look.
A soft and deep “Hm?” and a little devilish smile was all I got.
I moved the chair backwards and pulled Greg on my lap then. “You know exactly what I mean!” I whispered and started to unbutton his shirt.
“I might … I might …” Greg answered but was not willing to give in. He leaned back a bit and still looked into my eyes.

A sigh slipped out of my mouth and I raised my eyes towards the ceiling …
“Okay, I got that … You want to go out and on a walk – you have already something in your mind, right?”
“Right!” Greg answered, fondled my hair and stood up then.

Another sigh filled the room – and again it was mine. I closed my notebook and stood up as well to follow Greg into the bedroom where he did go to change into street clothes – as we still had been in our “home clothes”.
I opened the door and found me staring on a more than alluring scene …
“I … I … thought we go on a walk?” I finally managed to say (more than just a bit hoarsely) while still eyeballing the scene in front of me.
Gregory lying on the bed in his birthday suit – arms and legs spread open and the only light were two candles on the nightstand. The light of the candles painted soft patterns on his skin and my body reaction was more than clear.

“Stop thinking and come here …” Greg moaned with closed eyes.
That was a thing he did not have to repeat twice and so I closed the door silently and slipped out of my clothes more than hastily while approaching the bed.

My eyes met the red rose I did buy two days ago together with some Chinese food for dinner. I grabbed it tenderly and crawled beside Greg then.
Gregory did not open his eyes and did not move … slowly I took the rose and started to caress his skin with its velvet-like bud.
A deep moan slipped out of Greg’s mouth and his eyes popped open.

“Shhhh …” I whispered as I was unable to speak – my throat felt dried out and my heart did beat like it would want to run a marathon.

Greg moaned again when the rose bud tenderly stroke over his side. He opened his mouth and I felt my lower parts wanting and pleading for more.
The rose soon found the way to the floor and my lips the way to his mouth … and the walk was soon forgotten for quite a while.

One hour or so later, Greg turned around lazily and gave me his brightest smile.
“Back to the topic now … what about a walk?”
I stretched lightly and nodded.
“Yeah, why not – looks like it would be a nice evening to go for a stroll? Already some place in your mind?”
“Hmmm … I thought about the golf course!” Greg replied and crawled to the edge of the bed.
“The golf course?” I answered and straightened up. “Isn’t it forbidden to have a walk there?”
Gregory’s smile became even broader and now there was a hint of a devilish grin in it.


… ... …

“Well, I just heard that it is very nice there and in the night it must be silent and … no one around – five miles away from the center of Plainsboro …”

Greg gave me a side glance and waggled one eyebrow.
“Oh …” I said and the realization dawned what he wanted to tell me between the lines …
“Mhmmm…” was his reply and with a grin it was me now crawling out of the bed and jumping into jeans, t-shirt and sneakers.

Greg said nothing but he checked what I did choose to wear and nodded then as if I had passed a test without knowing it.
It was in the car to the golf course when I asked him why he did nod before.

“I just noticed you did choose clothes you can get easily in and out …” he replied while looking on the street.

“Right … right …” I just answered with a grin.

What happened now on the golf course is just a thing of your imagination … it was a … nice walk there – very very silent …