Saturday, May 19, 2007

Sorrow ...

Gregory has already stated in his blog what happened though when he found his pictures on my blog.

I really felt so sorry - but let me start at the beginning though.

The sorrow happened on Wednesday this week and I just thought it might be funny to show those pics here as I really think that he is looking way too cute again on those pictures ... but it should turn out to a little disaster for me though.

Gregory normally takes such things easy and most of the time we are laughing our asses off when we find some old pictures - so I thought he might just take it as it was intended - as a joke.

Far from that he took it as you know ... and he reacted in a way I never thought he would do. He was pissed off!

Gregory did not respond to any comment I made afterwards and I really tried it that way...
Nothing happened though and so I found myself walking down the hallway to his office.
I knocked at the office door and entered the room.
"Greg...I'm sorry. I did not know that you would mope...."
He just glared at me and did not respond.

"Greg..." I started anew and waited for a sign of recognition ...nothing.
He just turned to the file on his desk again and flipped through it.

"Greg...please..." I said silently and looked at him.
With a sigh Gregory scribbled something down and refused to look at me.

For a second I thought about approaching him and kissing his brain out so he would no longer be able to be pissed off ... but that really annoyed sigh just made me step back and close the door silently.

The next two hours I spent with thinking about how I could make up for it and why he was so pissed off this time. He normally knows me and we are not that pigheaded when it comes to old pictures and such stuff. That is why I really did not know what to do ...

I went to his office somewhat later that day and found it abandoned. No Gregory House was there ... bag was gone and Cameron just told me that House has left the PPTH approximately half an hour ago.

"Fine" I thought and made my way back to the office where a patient of mine was already waiting.
She has terminal cancer and she asked me if I would accept her invitation for dinner though.
I did accept the invitation and she invited me for dinner in a cozy Indian restaurant near the university.

"You should try the curry, Dr. Wilson" she said with a smile and pointed at the chicken curry in the menu.
I gave her a warm look and just smirked a bit.
"I don't think it would be wise to eat curry now, Hannah. I can't stand it though and you might not want me sitting here with a pale face and then speeding out of the room though, or?"
She just grinned and patted my hand.
"No, I think one person with a pale face is enough on that table, Dr. Wilson."

We really had a pleasant time and we spent nearly two hours in that restaurant until I drove her back home where her husband already awaited her.
It is never easy to let a patient go ... and sometimes it is really hard to stay cool and just be the doctor - especially when the patient is a wonderful person with a warm heart and soul.

After I brought her home I turned the car and headed towards our apartment.
My thoughts wandered back to Gregory and how pissed off he was when I did see him a few hours before.
He did not respond on my text messages nor did he pick up the phone when I tried to call him.

My right hand turned on the radio and a second later I stared at it when I heard a really weird sound coming out of the loudspeaker.
"What the heck?" I muttered as I listened to that typically Indian sound.
With a mood that really sucked I thumped my fingers on the steering wheel while I was standing at the stoplight in the city center.

The driver's window was slightly opened and I did not recognize a man approaching my car until I heard the knock at the window.
My heart nearly stopped beating when I became aware that a man was standing there - staring at me.

It was an Indian and he smiled at me.
"Okay" I thought "a mass murder doesn't look like this" and so I opened the window to ask him what he wants.

The music stopped howling and the smile of the man became even broader when he heard the last tunes of this "song".
"May I help you?" I asked him and gave him a hint of a smile, hidden behind a questioning look.
Suddenly I found myself staring at a bunch of red roses that blocked the complete window now.
Behind this bunch I heard the mumbling voice asking me:
"Wanna buy some rrroses?"
"I ..."
"Putifullll rrroses! For you I'll make a special offerrr!"
"I beg ..."
"Buy one 3 bucks! Buy ten 25 bucks! And buy the whole bunch ... just 50 bucks for you!"
Again I wanted to tell him that I am not interested and then I stared at those wonderful and really beautiful red roses (I have to admit) and next thing I know is that I was 50 bucks worse off and had a bunch of about 50 red roses lying next to me.

"Why not ..." I sighed to myself and a few minutes later I parked the car in front of the house.

It was aroound 8 pm when I opened the door. There was light in the living room and I heard that the TV was on.
I placed my bag in the corner and hung up my jacket. My stomach twitched a bit and I took one or two deep breaths before I entered the living room with the bunch of roses.
Gregory was sitting on the sofa and staring at the screen.
I swallowed hard down, greeted him with a "Hey, darling..." and approached him then.
Greg on the other hand just gave me a short - apparently annoyed - look and turned away again.

My husband just did not show any sign of response and I began anew.
"Hun, I..." - as there was no response and just a blank looking Gregory - soon silence filled the room.

I stood there like someone waiting to be picked up ...
A deep sigh later and with a lump in the throat I decided to go into the kitchen and water the flowers.

While I was standing in the kitchen and arranging the roses in the vase, Gregory arose and walked towards the bedroom.
I followed him with my eyes and so I did look at him when he gave me a glance over his shoulder and gnarled a, "There's no dinner for you".

According to Greogry's report I must have looked slightly uncomfortable when I told him that I already had dinner though.
He would have known that if he would have picked up my phone or would have answered my text messages. Of course I know now that his cell was switched off ... but at that time I just thought that he must have read the messages.

Gregory raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really..."
I blushed slightly as his reaction just showed me that he had no clue I was invited by a patient.
" were gone and...and...a patient invited me to that restaurant..."
"A patient!" he muttered and eyeballed me.

" wanted to thank me..."
"Nice", he nodded and next thing I did see was a slammed door.

I rushed to the bedroom door and opened it.
"Greg, there was nothing..."
"Out of here", he said very silently and grabbed the book on his nightstand.
"But I..."
"OUT!" Greg yelled and his eyes looked blank.
I had to swallow down the lump in my throat again and after I examined his face for any sign of forgiveness ... and I couldn't find some ... I just withdrew my head and closed the door.

So I stood there - again staring at a closed door with Gregory in the room behind.
Another sigh slipped out of my mouth and I rubbed my neck.
"Damn it!" I thought and my feet just led me into the sitting room and I grabbed the bottle of Laphroaig, opened it and poured me a single malt.

The lights were already dimmed and I just turned out the TV and switched on the hifi.
The music of The Spencer Davis Group filled the air and I downed my first glass of malt to the sound of "Gimme some lovin'".

My thoughts went astray and I thought about how stupid I have been ... again.
I poured me another malt ... and another ... and another ...

I did lay on the sofa, listening to very special music and staring at the ceiling.
A good time later I stumbled to my feet and went to the bedroom door.
The wood was staring at me like a guard standing at a gate and asking for the parole.
I breathed in and out, supported my arms on the door frame and asked a silent "Greg? Babes?".
The voice behind the door answered with a grunted "Leave me alone".
I opened the door a bit as I did not want to give in that easy.

"Greg...bunnybum...I'm sorry....I did not mean to piss you off..."
Gregory did not lift up his head and just looked into the book he was holding in his hands.

My feet led me into the room and I managed to stop them after three steps done.
"Hunny? I...I...just thought those pictures were really look cute on them..."
His response was a snort and a nod towards the door.

I just felt somehow numb by then and so I just gave in, sighed and closed the door silently.

Tired legs led me into the living room again and I stood there, my eyes fixed on the red roses and the candle light and next thing I did was smashing my hand against the wooden bookshelf and yelling a "JERK".
I was so upset of myself that this was the very first reaction that came out.

A split of a second later I heard Gregory yelling.
"Oh no" I thought and the palm of my hand hit my forehead. "Dammit! I did not mean you, Greg!"

"Yeah, for suuuuuure!" was his reply and it was crystal clear that he did not believe it.

I sank down on the sofa again and the Laphroaig bottle caught my eyes again.
Another drink and a secret cigarette on the balcony later I found my guts again to return to the hall of the mountain king.

My hand turned the doorknob and I tiptoed into the bedroom.
"What are you doing here?" Gregory said and frowned.
"Um..." I swallowed. "Going to bed?"
"No way", Gregory gnarled and in the dimmed light I saw him shaking his head.
He rummaged around in bed and two seconds later I had my yammies thrown at me and was told with a cold voice to sleep on the couch.

"Out!" he barked and really thought that this couldn't be true now.
I really was taken aback and my "Gregory!" sounded more than perplexedly.
He on the other hand just flashed at me and it was the look in his eyes that made me slowly step backwards out of the room and into the dark hallway again.

"Fine" I thought and muttering to myself I went into the sitting room - again.
I changed my clothes and tried to make myself comfortable on the couch.
For sure it was not the first time I had to spend on a sofa ... but this time it was because of some pictures!
Just some silly pictures and I was laying on that sofa like I had done something really really bad.

Gnawing on my lower lip I tried to analyze what happened though ... but with a few single malts in my body I really wasn't able to think properly.
I tiptoed into the kitchen and poured me a glass of milk, walked back to the sofa and started thinking ...

A few hours, one or maybe two single malts later I grabbed the candle and single rose and made my way into the bedroom again.

I opened the door silently and tiptoed to my nightstand where I carefully placed the candle. I walked to Gregory's side then and I knelt down.
"Greg...", I whispered and looked into his beautiful face.
Gregory mumbled a sleepy "Mmmmh?" and my heart slopped over.
I placed the rose gently upon his pillow and then I bent forward to kiss his forehead.
"I'm sorry", I whispered and I had to swallow down again when Gregory opened his eyes and I found myself drowning in his astonishing blue eyes all over sudden.

My lips wandered from his forehead down his cheek until I finally felt the softness of his lips.
"Greg...", I heard myself moaning and when he returned my kiss and wrapped his arms around me my legs turned to jelly and if I wouldn't have been kneeling I would probably have just lost the ability to stand upright.

How can it be possible to miss someone like that - although that someone is just around all the time, how?
I don't know it - but I do know that I missed him like hell and that feeling sorrow and numb is a feeling I don't want to have that often when he is around.

I deepend that kiss of love and my hands wandered over his body. Thousand kisses or more I placed upon each piece of skin when I unbuttoned his yammy shirt and I heard myself whispering sweet names into his ear.

"You're so beautiful...", I murmured into his ear and while caressing his bare chest I told him anew that I felt so sorry ...
"I'm good...I'm not angry..." Gregory panted silently and his eyes just made me come closer and closer and soon our bodies melted to one.

My soul screamed out his name - or was it me screaming it? - and I just drowned in his love and arms ... and the journey throught he valley of making it up just started - and it was a long journey and a short night...


For those interested what kind of Indian music it was - I found it on youtube:


Dr. Gregory House said...

A long and wonderful journey...
Would love to go there again...

Dr. James Wilson said...

I think we can arrange that ...

Dr. Gregory House said...

Oh...fine...I'll pack my bags.