Friday, May 25, 2007

All that I have

I just sat there at the kitchen table in the dark apartment and stared on the silhoutte of my hand holding a pen.

It was Monday late evening and I still had no clue where Gregory was. Pen ink crossed out the next row on my list and a sigh slipped out of my mouth.
“A lot more hotels left” I sighed and threw the pen across the room.
“Damn fuck!” I yelled and ruffled my hair.

I already called a bunch of hotels, after I did check every airport in the surrounding and every morgue, hospital etc. – no sign of Gregory.
The paper with the list of hotels upon was formed to a ball and followed the pen right across the room.

“I think I better go out and try the last hotels in person” I muttered to myself and stood up.
The whisky glass was put aside and the empty bottle of Aberlour was thrown away.
Believe me that I was no longer sober at that very evening, I already had some glasses over the eight but I really did not care … I did give a shit on in though.

Last look around in the empty and cold looking apartment and I closed the door behind me.
“Where now?” I asked myself silently and put the hands in my pockets.
My feet started to move and my mind just followed a bit later. I was not really surprised when I found me walking on the university campus and staring into the darkness of the night a few minutes later.

I even must have bought a tiny bottle of whisky in the shop around the corner as the typical brown paper stuck out of my jacket pocket and when I looked inside, the brownish golden liquid winked at me.

All windows of the Nassau Hall were dark and stared at me like foes in the night. I passed the building and made my way to the “Fountain of Freedom“, where I took seat at the rim.
My eyes were fixed on the water that sparkled like diamonds in the moon light ... but its beauty didn’t reach my soul, as my soul was far away searching Gregory’s in that lonely night.

Like he must have felt it ... I heard steps behind me but did not turn.
„Jim?“ I heard Gregory’s silent whisper some feet away.
Slowly I turned around and stared at the shadowly figure standing near the next building.
I tumbled to my feet and whispered a nearly voiceless “Greg?”

The person stepped back a bit and now I did see that it was Gregory.
“Don’t let him go” I thought and approached him.
A few steps away I stopped and looked at him.
He looked awful and deep in thoughts and the earphones of his I-Pod hung down his leather jacket.
“Hi” I susurrated and gave him a questioning look.
“Hi” Greg mumbled back and thumped his cane on the ground.

“Where have you been? I called nearly every hotel in town and I was worried like hell!”
Gregory blue eyes showed me that those words had been exactly the wrong ones.
He raised an eyebrow and answered coldly.
“Worried? Huh?”
I gulped down the lump in my throat and with a softer voice I continued.
“Greg … I … GOD! I mean I know that you got that email … but …”
“BUT? Is there a but?! I don’t think you should dare continuing!” Gregory barked at me and turned around.

I stepped forward and grabbed his arm, Greg swung around and next thing happened, I found myself on the ground holding my chin and licking away the droplets of blood.
“I am NOT Susan, Bonnie or Julie! You think you can go scot-free? You thought wrong! I will not allow you cheating on me. Do you get that NOW?” Gregory barked and stared me in the eyes.
Stunned at first I just stared at him and then shook my head.

“Gregory …”
“I don’t want to hear any lame excuses now!” he snapped back and was about to turn again.
“You will not leave me like that” I yelled at him and stumbled to me feet again.
“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t just do that?” he answered silently and looked over his shoulder.

A deep sigh emerged from deep within my body and I ran with my fingers through my hair.
“Because you are all that I have!”
Slowly like in a slow motion sequence Gregory turned around and his blue eyes were fixed on me.
“Repeat that!” he said with a blank voice.
“You are all that I have, Gregory!” I said … paused and continued, “See I did not betray you and this is just the truth. Look me in the eyes and try to see the truth in there. You know me by heart! You would just see if I would lie to you!”

Greg now turned around completely and came closer.
"Go ahead! And be sure, I'll see if you lie!"
I just nodded and returned his straight look.

"It might sound a bit weird, but my computer account was broken and some hacker just misused all the information on it, including my messanger and my e-mail accounts."

Greg snorted and frowned but before he could interrupt me I carried on telling what happened to me.
My report was sometimes interrupted by a snort, a curse and some deep sighs.

"When that computer guy told me that this faked conversation was sent to you ... I raced home as fast as I could, but you were already gone."

Gregory sighed and looked at me.
"For sure I was gone, I just packed a few things, took my bike and got me a hotel room" he grumbled then.
I had to swallow down hard before I managed to ask him, if he'd be coming home again.

"Jim, I ..."
"You still don't believe me, right?" I spoke under breath and let me sink down on the stairs.
My eyes were fixed on the pavement and I felt my stomach turning when I heard Gregs steps.

Although I did rather expect him leaving now without a word, he approached me and with a gently touch of his fingers he made me look up again.
We exchanged glances and after some seconds he murmured silently, "Stand up".
I arose and must have looked more than unsure until a little smile enlightened his eyes.

"I believe you, Jim" Greg sighed and caressed my cheek with his soft fingers.
"I should have asked you immediately, but I was so hurt and ..." with a gentle kiss I sealed his lips and we held each other like drowning people.

The kiss was deepened and our breaths became harder after a while. Greg's gentle embrace turned into demanding touches and my hands wandered over his body.

"Hotel is close" Greg moaned between the kisses and to underline his meaning, he let his hand slip into my trousers.
I couldn't avoid groaning aloud before I was able to reply with a hoarse voice, "Let's go then!"

Without breaking stride we walked from the campus and two corners later we entered the hotel and went straight to the room.

Gregory opened the door "Go ahead!" he murmured and I entered the room.
The door was closed behind me with a silent click and I could hear Greg locking it afterwards.

I took my jacket off and placed it on the lonely chair. A clonk let me look down on the floor and I saw the whisky bottle rolling to and fro.
Before I was able to pick it up, Greg bent down and raised it.

"I already wondered if you took a bath in some malt barrel. How much glasses did you have?" he asked and gave me an inquiring look.
"Enough!" I said and winked at him.
"I see that in your eyes. Heck, man you are drunk!"
"Tipsy!" I replied and slowly unbuttoned my shirt.

"Your pupils are dilated as well, Greg ..." I said when he came closer to brush the shirt over my shoulders.
"No wonder" he murmured into my ear and kissed my neckline.

"How much?" I sighed when he unbuckled my belt and got rid of my trousers then.
"Too much for your taste ..." Greg voiced under his breath when he touched my back with feather-like touches.

His hands grabbed my hair to pull back my head.
"But not enough to be unable to do what I will do now" Gregory moaned and his teeth delved into my weak flesh.

With a simultaneous moan we sank onto the bed and soon were both undressed and entangled up in each other.

Heat and passion filled the air of the hotel room and the only words spoken for a long time were words of love and lust.

It must have been around 3 am though when Gregory turned on his stomach lazily and gave me a warm smile.

"So ... I am all that you have?" he asked me while caressing my chest with soft and tender touches.
"Mhm ..." I answered, turned and looked him deep in the eyes.

"You are all that I have ... and all that I want!" I said clearly.
Gregory's smile broadened and his eyes sparkled like opals in the glistening sun.
He leaned over me and pushed me into the linen and before he bent down his head to kiss me, he moaned into my ear, "And you are all that I want now".

1 comment:

Dr. Gregory House said...

This was so horrible.
I can't describe how awful this all was.
And it ended so wonderful.