The slamming of the door reached the bottom of my soul and I startled a bit.
"ASSHOLE" I yelled and I have to admit that I wasn't sure if I said it to myself or to Gregory.
I stood there for a second and looked down on the shardes of the mug.
The remnants gnawed at my conscience and I felt my anger vanishing at once.
How silly and dump we both were ... I opened the door and heard Gregory muttering aloud, "DOUCHEBAG!"
A sigh slipped out of my mouth when I did see him sitting there on the steps down to the sidewalk.
I stepped out of the appartment, made sure I had the keys in my pocket and drew the door close behind me.
"Greg ..." I started silently and looked at his back.
He stiffened and turned to me slowly.
"What now? Wanna ruin my bike as well?" he asked me with a monotone voice.
I approached him with wringing hands, "I am sorry! Okay ... I ... "
"It is one thing destroying something due to an accident or destroying something due to will!" he barked at me and swallowed down hard.
I walked passed him as I wanted to look him in the eyes and while doing so, he suddenly stretched out his leg and I nearly found myself kissing the pavement.
"Are you insane?" I asked him aloud after I tumbled lightly and could find my balance back before falling down on my knees.
"You ask me, if I am insane? After what you implied with the mug? You did say that on purpose after all you know what happened to me as a child ..."
My jaw dropped down and I must have looked more than blank.
"Greg, I never thought about that ... believe me!"
"Fuck you, Jim or no ... go and fuck someone else - that is what you can do the best, huh?" he spat in my face.
I startled and felt a fist squeezing my stomach and another fist trying to rip my heart out.
Gregory looked at me and I could see in his eyes that he slowly recognized what he had said ... before he could say even more I slowly nodded and stepped back.
"Yah ... I got that!" I said silently and turned around to walk away with fast steps.
"JIM, wait!" I heard him shouting after me a few seconds later.
I hesitated in my steps but did not stop but walked further on.
"JIM!" I heard him again before I heard his steps following me.
Slowing down my steps a bit I thought about what we both did say and why we did say it.
"God, how stubborn we both are!" I thought and wondered if he still did love me.
One thing was sure - I still loved him dearly, deeply and with all my heart.
Why is it so, that we often hurt those the most - we love the most?
I nearly stood now and could feel his presence close behind me and then I felt his hand grabbing my arm.
"Jim" he said with a softer voice that made my heart jump.
I turned around and looked at him - straight into his steel-blue eyes.
Gregory eyed me and sighed deeply then.
"I am sorry" he whispered and looked down on his sneakers.
"I am sorry as well!" I whispered back and looked upon my hands.
"Really?" I heard him asking silently and saw his feet moving a bit.
I lifted up my head again and found me staring into his concerned looking face.
"Really!" I answered with an underlining nod and raised my hand to caress his cheek briefly.
Gregory stiffened underneath my touch and I did withdraw my hand at once.
"Oh god, is it that severe ... he did stiffen!" I thought and gnawed upon my lower lip.
"Believe me, Jim, I never meant that ..." Gregory continued then and touched my hand lightly.
A shiver ran down my spine and I felt a heat rushing through my entire body.
I would have so wanted to drag him into my arms, hold him tenderly and telling him more than anything else that I still did love him - but I did not find my guts to do so.
"I ... I never really wanted to hurt you like I did. You are right ... I am a douchebag!" I said and felt more than sorry.
Greg smiled lightly and looked earnest again a few seconds later.
"Perhaps a little one sometimes ..." he replied and winked at me.
"I suppose we both are - sometimes, hm?" I answered silently and stepped a bit closer.
"Mhm" he said with a nod and stepped closer as well.
Only a few inches parted us now and I looked up into his eyes.
I felt his breath upon my skin and his eyes wandering down to my mouth where they rested for the hint of a second and wandered then back to my eyes again.
"What about ... going out for dinner?" Gregory asked me silently and his eyes caressed my face.
A sigh was about slipping out of my mouth under his look and it was pure will I could surpress it.
"I would love to ..." I answered as silently as he asked me before, "But I do have an appointment this evening."
Gregory blinked for a second and stepped back then.
"DAMN FUCK!" I thought and rubbed my neck.
"An appointment, huh? So ... you wont be at home this evening ..."
"Right ... I ..."
"No, if it is important ..." he said and looked up and down the road then.
I looked at him and felt the urge again to take him into my arms and not letting him go for the rest of time.
"Well, I could ask my colleague if she would mind cancelling it ..." I answered and tried a little smile.
He gave me a questioning look and raised an eyebrow then.
"A colleague ... oh ...well, then ..." Greg said and waved aside. "Sounds important ..."
Again I gnawed on my lip and rubbed my neck.
"I am sure she will understand it ..." I answered and searched for my cell.
"Damn I think I left my cell at home" I said - "Would you mind going back?"
"No no ..." Greg answered in thoughts.
"Oh please, Lord! Let us solve that problem!" I prayed inwardly and walked back towards our apartment.
Greg accompanied me and we both gave us side glances in return.
We reached the house a short time later and I opened the door for him with a little smile.
Gregory stepped in an brushed my chest with his arm slightly.
I inhaled sharply and again felt a fist around my stomach, but this time it was more longing for his touches than fearing the marriage break up.
Gregory looked back over his shoulder and for a tiny moment I thought that he as well had problems fighting against his feelings.
I shrugged that thought off again and went to my bag to pull out my cell.
A minute later I cancelled the appointment and postponed it for tomorrow.
"See you tomorrow at lunch then!" I finished the call and hang up.
Gregory was sitting on the armchair in the living room and looked through a magazine.
"I cancelled it .... so, if you still want to go out with me, I would be honoured!"
He looked up and nodded.
"You did not have to cancel it, you know" he said and put the magazine aside.
"I think spending the evening with you is much more important than that ... appointment", I said and combed through my hair.
A little smile enlightened Greg's face and he nodded.
"Okay ... I will change into something more fitting them, hm? Where do you want to go?"
"Why not going into the restaurant she did suggest? The table is still booked, though."
Greg hesitated and then shrugged.
"Yah, why not ..."
"Great ... do you need to go into the bathroom?" I asked him with a smile.
"Ehm ...yes!" he nodded and walked towards the bedroom first.
"Okay" I said and from the corner of my eyes I did see the shardes which were still spread out on the floor.
Gregory went past me and I bowed down to pick up the remnants of my furious anger.
"Silly damn idiot" I muttered inwardly and threw the shardes away then.
Greg rummaged in the bedroom and so I went into the bath for a second to wash my hands and comb my hair.
"You are always looking good" I heard his soft voice from the door though and my heart started to race.
My head turned and my eyes wandered up and down his body to inhale his appearance with my eyes.
He did wear black jeans, a red shirt, black Converse and a black suit jacket.
"Wow" I sighed and whistle shortly. "Now who is looking good, hm?" I asked him and stepped closer.
The scent of Eternity reached my nostrils and I swallowed down a lump in my throat.
"I ... I beter change as well", I whispered and he stepped back to let me pass.
"You don't have to" he said and his breath tickled my neck so close we were.
A shiver ran over my entire body and I closed my eyes for a milisecond.
"But I want to" I whispered back although it sounded more than a sigh of anticipation.
Gregory blinked and nodded slowly then before he cleared his throat.
"I will wait in the kitchen then" he said and sounded a bit hoarsely.
I just nodded and went into the bedroom then.
I hastily changed into a dark blue jeans with a black leather belt, a white shirt with the first two buttons opened, a black suit jacket and black leather shoes.
"That must do" I said to my reflection in the mirror and stepped out of the bedroom then.
"Shall we go?" I asked from the hallway and peeked into the kitchen.
Gregory turned his head and nodded slowly, "Yah ..." he said.
"I called a cab ... I got the allowance to drink alcohol again, so I thought ..."
"That is fine" I answered and gave him a warm smile.
"Wonderful ..." he replied and opened the door for me.
The cab was already waiting for us and after I told the driver where to go, we sat on the backseats like strangers who did not know what to talk about.
"So ...the restaurant is near the river?" Greg asked after a unpleasant silence of a few minutes.
"It is down at the river, yah. I've never been there though but I heard of it and they are famous for their fish plates."
"Fish ..." Greg said and beamed at me.
I nodded and beamed back.
The ride down to the river did not last that long and soon the taxi driver stopped the car in front of a very romantic looking restaurant with cozy lightning.
Gregory looked outside and whistled silently through his teeth.
"Now that is what I call a perfect place for a date!" he said while getting out of the car.
I paid the driver and then got out of the car as well.
"Yah, looks nice" I replied and looked at Gregory then.
He was still looking at the building and frowned a bit.
"Shall we go in?" I asked him and shortly touched his back ... and there it was again - that stiffening underneath my hand.
My hand dropped down at my side and without waiting for his answer I stepped up the stairs and opened the door for him.
"Sir ..." I said with a beam and waited for him to step up as well.
When passing me he smiled and thanked me silently.
At the reception desk we waited a second for the waitress to guide us to the already booked table.
"Good evening, I booked a table for Dr. Wilson this noon."
She checked the book and nodded then.
"Follow me please, Dr. Wilson" she said with a smile and guided us through the restaurant to the panoramic window.
The table we had was really a wonderful and romantic place situated in a little niche and decorated with candles and flowers.
"You said what, when you booked the table?" Gregory asked silently when taking seat.
"I just booked a table for two ...why?" I asked and looked around to check the whole restaurant.
"Do you see someone you know?" he wanted to know with a lightly pressed voice.
I turned my head again to look at him, "No ..." I said and smiled again.
"Could have been ..." Greg replied and now it was him looking around.
"What about that lady there, apparently waving at you?"
"Who?" I asked and looked who he meant.
A little laughter slipped out of my mouth when I turned my head to see at who that woman was waving at.
"I guess she means the other woman behind me who is waving back eagerly and now approaching her table!"
"Oh ... yah ..." Greg answered and blushed lightly.
"Gregory, you don't think that this was a date, right?"
He opened his mouth to reply but before he could do so I continued and explained him who wanted the appointement and why she wanted it.
After I finished my little explanation he sat there and looked down on his hands for a second.
My hand reached over the table automatically and I squeezed his tenderly.
Greg looked up and gently brushed over my palm with his thumb.
"I think I ... I thought for a second that it was a date", he then said silently and gave me an apologizing look.
"Never mind ... Greg" I said and swallowed down the darling that wanted to slip out.
He nodded and we drew our attention to the menu card.
"Mine has no prices" Greg said a second later and I grinned.
"But mine has ... so feel invited."
Greg grinned back, "You know that reminds me of the evening when I gave you the roses ..."
I nodded and thought back ...
He nodded as well and looked on the card again.
I watched him for another moment and checked the card as well then.
"I think I will take the fish plate. Do you fancy a starter?" He asked me and put the card aside.
"Yah ... I think I might take the clamchowder as a starter and the Red Snapper as main course." I replied and put the card aside as well.
"Hmmmm... clamchowder sounds great. I will take that then as well. What about a rosé?"
"Great!" I said and looked at the waitress approaching us.
A bit of a time later our meals were ordered and I excused myself, as I wanted to go to a private place.
Greg nodded and looked out of the window after I stood up and made my way to the toilets then.
On the way back to the table I secretly went to the waitress and asked for a bottle of champagne and if they had some flowers here which they could sell me.
She grinned at me and replied that she could offer me some roses left from a wedding the day before.
"Perfect!" I answered and gave her a little extra tip. "Could you please serve the champagne and the flowers after dinner then?"
"Of course!" she answered and winked at me.
With a smile on my lips I went back to the table again and took seat.
"Really lovely here!" Greg addressed me and I looked out of the window as well.
A little ship with party lights on it just floated down the stream and I nodded slowly.
"Mhm ... would be the perfect place to celebrate our wedding date in November."
Greg looked at me and now it was him grabbing my hand for a second.
"That would be very nice..." he said tenderly and I caressed his fingers.
"Yes ..." I returned and leaned back in my seat then when I saw the waitress approaching with our soups.
The dinner passed and we tried to talk normal again ... it felt weird when we had to asked what happened the last few days and it felt weird as well, feeling that I really have missed talking to him that much.
When our main courses were served my conscience was tested anew as Gregory celebrated his fish with a lot of moans and sighs.
To my shame I have to admit that I started with the moaning when I tried my fish.
I closed my eyes and really could not avoid sighing out loud as the crab sauce was more than awesome!
"Aaaaaaaaaaaw....hrrrrmmmm" I sighed and took another bit of the fish.
"Gaaawd ...the sauce is so great!"
A klonk made me open my eyes again and I found me looking into Greg's stunned face. I searched for the reason of the sound I heared before and saw his fork laying on the plate.
"Are you okay?" I asked him and had to surpress a grin.
"Oh yes ... are you okay?" Greg asked back and looked at me as if I was about to faint.
"Mhm" I answered and offered him a fork with some fish and that delicious crab souce. "Wanna try?"
He shrugged and tried it ... what a biiiig mistake!
Greg closed his eye and a deep moan slipped out of his mouth. My fingers grabbed the fork stronger and I muttered inwardly as my body clearly responded on that sight and sound.
"No showers around here!" I thought and took a deep sip of my wine instead.
"Delicious!" Greg said then and nodded at me.
I swallowed down the lump in my throat and focused my concentration on the fish again.
It did not last for a long time as Gregory continued by and then to comment every new fish sort with noises of pleasure.
The bottle of wine was empty much too fast and it was not Gregory who emptied it ...
When the main course was finished I already felt more than tipsy.
The idea slowly arose in my head that his wounds could really cope with some cuddling, moving and other funny things ...
I licked my lips at the very thought of it and was not aware that Gregory was watching me at that moment - not until he sighed deeply.
My eyes found his and before I knew what happened I leaned over the table and placed a tender kiss on his lips.
"Jim" he sighed when I leaned back again and we both had our mouths slightly opened and were breathing a bit faster.
I stared into his eyes and so did he ...both completely lost in thoughts and feelings so that we did not notice the waitress standing at our table with the bottle of champagne and some beautiful red roses in her hands.
Only her polite coughing brought us back into the here and now I we both turned our heads to look for the source of disturbance.
Greg's eyes widened and a smile enlightened my face.
"I thought it was time to break the stubborness" I whispered silently.
Greg nodded and looked from roses to me and back again.
"Fancy a dessert?" I asked him and again he nodded.
"Yah ... but what about taking it at home?"
Now it was me nodding speechlessly and we both did not notice that the waitress was already gone and only the bottle of champagne and the roses were standing at the edge of the table.
"Would be great ..." I said after I had swallowed down hard.
"What about taking me as a dessert?" Greg asked now with bright sparkling eyes.
"Hmmm... would you take me?" I asked back and held my breath for a second.
"Bet your ass I will ..." he moaned silently and his eyes told me more than every word could do.
Before we could ask for the bill the waitress was back again with the very same in her hands.
She smiled when we looked at her with asking eyes.
"I thought you might want to pay now."
"Ehm...right ..." I stammered, looked at the bill, payed and handed her another tip.
"May we take the bottle of champagne with us?" Greg asked with a smirk.
"Sure, sirs!" the waitress answered and handed Gregory the bunch of roses wrapped in a paper.
"Perfect!" Gregory replied and took the roses.
I grabbed the bottle of champagne and stood up.
Some cabs were waiting in front of the restaurant and so we found ourselves sitting on the backseats a few minutes later - on our way home.