James - Home Alone

mood: grumpy and having a migraine

music: nothing

I am at home. Cuddy sent me home after a few hours work though.

Feeling more than shitty and that pill just knocked me out for hours! Normally I would have had no problem at all being at home... but home feels alone.

Alone because Gregory is gone again!

Yes I am grumpy! He had to go to Boston last week as well - until now he didn't tell me why!

Just some ominous sentences about a consultation and the duty to treat medical records confidentially.
This is a bit supicious ... as well as a doctor from Boston was on that spring party as well. Greg and he talked for quite a while though (before the disaster happened).

Last week was horror-like as I told you. Not only because of the hitting on Greg and me - no he had to go to Boston as well and just came back Sunday evening. Surprise he had to fly to Boston again yesterday!!!

C'mon ... do you know now why I am suspicious, curious and grumpy?!

I spent my day and half of the night in the clinic above some files and had a late night talk with Foreman who just came in at about half past eleven.

"Foreman" I greeted him when the door opened after a knock and he peeked in.
"Wilson, still here as well?" he asked and entered when I gestured at him.

"How are you, Foreman?" I asked.
"I am fine and as you can see I am still not having a few days off" he replied and flung himself into the visitor chair.

"Mhm... I can see that" I replied while flipping through the last file and closing it then.
"Do you know why Gr... House is in Boston, again?"
Foreman looked at me and shrugged "Nope, sorry, I don't know that. And if I had known it before I would have asked him for a few days off, before he left."

A sigh slipped out of my mouth and Foreman continued.
"I really could do with some vacation, you know?! My last vacation was around X-Mas!"
"X-Mas?" I asked and looked at him.
"Yes, 24th of December and the following days..." he looked at me like I would be a patient from the 6th.
"I know when Christmas is, Foreman. Being Jewish doesnt mean I dont know that!"
"Woohoo, is there someone grumpy?" he asked and leaned back in the chair with the typical "This could be interesting" expression upon his face.

"Am I grumpy?" I asked him - what was replied with a nod.
"Well, I am just tensed and having a headache." I said to Foreman, who was still nodding and just looking at me.
Another sigh slipped out of my mouth and I arose.
"He is not answering my messages, you know."
I started pacing the room "He ... I ... I am a bit concerned. We ... we ... we..."
"You ...?" Foreman continued when I stopped - unsure about I should and could really talk about that with him.

"I ... he just fell asleep when you left the night before, you know."
Foreman raised an eyebrow "And that is ... not usual?"
"Hmmm...well, we ... ehm... we" I stopped walking and rested my arms upon the desk and looked down on the floor.
"You what?" Foreman asked again.
"Since Cuddy's party" I felt myself blushing slightly "since then ... we... we ..."
"I am listening, go on ..." Foreman answered and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

I started walking to and fro again, combing with the fingers through my hair and then stopping to look at him.
"We had no sex since then..."
"Oooh...so ... since two weeks though?" he asked and frowned.
I just nodded.
"I know that this is not that grave in a partnership and I know that it is just normal ... but well ... I am just ... unsure."

"Hmmmm..." Foreman leaned forward and looked at me carefully.
"Does it have any impact on your marriage? Has anything changed?"
I rubbed my neck and thought it over ... has anything changed ...
"I have the feeling that he is avoiding me. Avoiding being alone with me. He comes home late, he suddenly has to fly to Boston - TWICE now! He doesn't answer my messages, he refuses to tell me about the reason he has to fly there ..." another sigh ... "and he thinks I slept with the nearly all nurses! What is just not true!"

I let myself fall down on the sofa and stared at the ceiling.
"Do you think that he is betraying you?" Foreman asked silently.
My eyes found Foreman's - "NO!"
"Do you think you are no longer attractive for him?"
I stared at my fingers and became aware I was playing with my wedding ring - I immediately stopped that.
"Perhaps" I whispered and looked back at Foreman.

Foreman rolled his eyes "Aw, c'mon! You are married since ...what ... three months now or a bit longer! And it was yesterday when he told that he will hit everyone with his cane who dares touching you in a sexual way."

Another deep sigh ...

"I am just having thoughts. It is allowed to be worried though, or? After three rotten marriages I think I am allowed to have worries..."
"Wilson, he is not betraying you and he still is in love with you. Perhaps he is just a bit embarassed you know?!"

"Embarassed? Foreman, it was me as well on that ... that ... that tape!"
My head dropped back and the ceiling really looked gorgeous. Foreman thought it would be wiser to say nothing at all and so we remained silent for about two minutes.

"I was kissed" I murmured silently.
"You were - what?!" Foreman answered and I looked at him again.
"Kissed" I murmured again and gnawed on my lower lip.
"When...who...how?"

"When ... last week. Who ... the black haired doctor from the gynecology department. How ... in the elevator. She just asked me something, I replied and suddenly I found myself being kissed on the mouth."
Foreman grinned and shook his head "This is ..."
"This was disgusting, Foreman!" I muttered.

"So it was a kiss ... not more."
"Well, there was on more kiss though." I murmured and gave him a side glance.
"You kissed her back?!!!" A shocked expression came on Foreman's face.
"Of course NOT! I was kissed by a cancer patient though. She murmured something about youtube ... and then I was pushed against the wall - too perplex to react and ... well ..."
Foreman shook his head in absolute disbelief "That is ... gawd, are they all insane in here?!"
"That! Is exactly what I was asking myself as well, Foreman."

"I mean, Gregory and I are married - I do love him. He is not always a nice person I know that. He is not easy - I know that. But - heck - I really do love him deeply! He is making me complete though. Is that that hard to understand? Why can't they just accept that?"

Foreman looked at me with a slightly opened mouth, he then stood up and approached me.
What? I thought ...
He then patted my shoulder "Wilson, you really are deeply in love. You are jealous and you miss him like hell. Have you ever told him what you just told me?"
"The kissing thing?" I asked and frowned. "Geez, no, he would go mad!"
"No, he would not! And no, I meant everything."
"I ... I ... I - no" I said and dropped my head.

A soft nudge against my shoulder made me look up again.
"Then you probably should do that as soon as he is back again from Boston."
I shrugged "Probably..."
Foreman looked at me a bit ... questioningly.
"Yah, perhaps I will do that."
"Hmmm, perhaps I should write him a mail" he mumbled.

"What?" I asked back. "Did you just say you will write him an e-mail?"
"I... No I wont do that" Foreman said and smiled.
Another sigh ... "Do so if you feel better then. I should go home now. It is midnight."
"Right you are, Chase is probably waiting as well." Foreman said and helped me up.

"Good night then, Foreman and ... thanks for listening."
He smiled and nodded "Anytime, Wilson."
I just nodded back and looked at him leaving my office.

I packed my things after that and made my way home ...
At home no one was waiting for me ... no music filled the air, no coffee odor, no Greg ...
My headache was getting worse and worse - and so I took an aspirin and went to bed - where I woke up this morning with a severe migraine attack.

I managed to get dressed and to hail a taxi to the PPTH - two hours later and a damn hard migraine pain reliever - I was sent back home, where I slept nearly the whole day.

I will now get dressed and have a walk - fresh air can only be good for me. I am still feeling totally dizzy and standing next to me.
Gregory is still not around - but answered to my short message. He will probably be back this night.

Probably ...