I was wounded inside - wounded by many things that happened in my past. The death of my father followed by the abuse through my Uncle Vernon, the failed marriages, the long years of longing and the doubt of ever finding the right person for me - not to mention the tried rape...
There are many things bothering me, many things going on ... no wonder I was confused, no wonder my moods went up and down. I am currently running through the process of healing - I never thought it would be possible, but it is... if you have the right person by your side. A person who really loves you, a person who understands you, a person who gives you strength and confidence - confidence in yourself and who makes you believe. If you have found the right person for you - you will feel it as you will feel complete, your soul will no longer be in pain, you just feel like coming home.
Why I ask you, why do we often cling to existing relations although we feel there must be more, there must be someone out there who is just the right person for you?! We stay with our partners although the love is no longer that strong, we seldomly see each other and feeling alone and somewhat hollow inside. Doubts are rising and we often think about it - starting to flee into ourselves, starting to hide behind long working hours, sleep or some glasses of alcohol. There are no coincidences you know - we only have to believe and everything will turn out good - somewhen.
For me it took 10 years to realize that the right person for me was always around, I thought my dreams would never come true ... I just didn't believe. When I finally had the guts to tell, to say what was going on - everything turned out right and it is still going on.
There are so many things to tell you, so many beautiful things that happened in the last few days - I really don't know if I can tell you all of it. And perhaps, well perhaps it might be better to keep some things private.
I will have to think about it - ... stay tuned!